Beyond the Male Ego - Men’s greatest fear

http://content.jqscorp.com/?p=79

When G-d created Adam, the minute he opened his eyes, what was his psychological profile. What was his psyche? I mean, he had no Oedipus complex - he had no mother - right - he didn’t have a birth trauma, because he wasn’t born. What was this man like? He had no siblings, no sibling rivalry, what was the makeup of this man’s psyche? By the way, he didn’t have a survival instinct either. And that’s why when G-d said, the day you eat from this tree, you’ll die, he wasn’t impressed. Oh, so I’ll die. Easy come, easy go! He had no survival instinct. So how did his mind work?

He had a death wish, that was his psyche.He had a death wish because life felt so unnatural. So in a sense, when G-d says, from dust you are, and to dust you shall return, that’s the psyche! I came from dust I want to go back. Back to what? To dust. To nothing.

Men, to this very day, have this complex. Men have this complex that if you strip away the external, the trappings - if you take away his car, and his money, and his blue suede shoes - there’s nothing, there’s dust. Every man is terrified that in the end, he will have amounted to nothing. No matter how much he has accomplished. He can be the richest man, the most powerful man, the most successful person, the most talented the most admired, deep down inside he is afraid that it is all going to go away and he is going to remain a nothing, a non-entity, a zero.

Women don’t have this. A woman does not have a fear or a suspicion of her own nothingness. It doesn’t exist. Chava was created from Adam, not from dust. Where a man is afraid if you take away all the trappings, all the accomplishments, there will be a nothing, by a woman, if you take away everything, all her accomplishments and her achievements, what’s going to remain? She doesn’t become a nothing, she becomes him. She loses herself in him. When you take away a man’s being, he doesn’t lose himself in her, he becomes nothing. Zero.

That’s why a man needs to accomplish. He must accomplish, because he has to deny this nothingness. Whereas a woman doesn’t need to accomplish in order to exist, she needs to accomplish in order to be appreciated. Because if you’re a nothing and you have to become a something, then accomplishment is everything, and respect is what you need more than anything else.

A woman who is a something and doesn’t need to become a something and is not afraid of being nothing, doesn’t understand and can’t tolerate when her something-ness is not appreciated. So what a woman needs more than anything else is appreciation, not respect.

So the Gemorrah says, that a man should be very careful with his wife’s feelings, and his wife’s honor, because a woman is sensitive to injustice. This is not an idle observation about women. The core, at the essence of a woman’s being, it’s the injustice that bothers her, because she is being treated as if she were nothing, and that’s not true, she is something. So the injustice hurts.

When a man is being treated like nothing, it’s not the injustice that hurts him; it’s the truth, which hurts him. Because he is nothing. And he hates being reminded of it. But he’s not reacting to injustice, it’s not a moral indignation, it’s a personal hurt. Whereas with a woman, no matter how badly she is abused or devastated, it’s a moral injustice in her. That’s why, for example, a woman can be abused for years in a relationship, and she walks around saying she deserves it. A man can’t do that. He can’t walk around saying I deserve it, because that’s not the issue. The issue is not deserved or undeserved, the issue is “ Am I or am I not,” and if you abuse me, then I’m not, - I can’t take that. I can’t be diminished to nothing and go on. Can’t go on, if you’re nothing.

A woman’s plight is that being something, you expect to be recognized, you expect to be appreciated, you expect to be treated appropriately to the something that you are. A man on the other hand, is desperate to be recognized for a something, and so he needs to prove himself, he needs to achieve, he needs to acquire. And that’s why men are aggressive. Men are aggressive because the need to acquire is an aggression. Whereas the determination to retain what is yours, to remain yourself, no matter how intensely you pursue that, it’s not called aggression, because you’re not out to acquire, you’re just trying to preserve.

When the lion goes hunting, he’s aggressive. When the lioness goes hunting, she’s just trying to keep her family going, it’s not aggression, it’s maintenance. If you threaten a bear cub when its mother is around, you’re in big trouble. You say, “ Oh, this mother is aggressive.” She’s not aggressive, she’s totally passive. Leave her kid alone, and she’s fine; she’s not out to get you. She doesn’t want anything you have. She just wants to maintain what she has. And she’ll do that ferociously. But it’s maintaining, not aggressive.

On the other hand, men are very fragile and women are not. Why are men so fragile? Because at the core of a man’s psyche there is a vast emptiness - outer space, nothing, blank. In a woman’s psyche, there is no blackness, there is no emptiness, there is no space. That’s what we mean when a man says in the morning, “ Thank You for not making me a woman.” Whereas the woman says, “ Thank you for making me as You want me to be.” Cause a woman can make a positive statement about herself, because she is. She is grateful for what she is. A man is grateful for what he’s not. Because he can’t make a positive statement, he can’t say, Thank You for what I am. He’s never sure he is anything. So the male psyche is very fragile. You say boo, it falls apart.

This is where humility comes into play. Humility means stop trying to cover up your nothingness. Stop trying to compensate for that emptiness, for that fear that you’re nothing, that you’re a zero. Accept it. It’s true. And work from there.

The woman’s plight is this: on the one hand, the weakness, the danger is that if she doesn’t maintain herself, she basically dissolves into him, and she becomes an appendage of him, which happens very, very often. On the other hand, there’s no greater talent, and no greater virtue that a woman has than to become completely him, in a healthy, positive, virtuous way.

A woman’s greatest strength is when she maintains herself, what is hers. If she is completely, insanely devoted to her husband - perfect, it’s hers. And when she’s devoted to what is hers, that’s perfect. The man who finally comes to term with his nothingness, is now free from this desperate need to defend himself, to protect himself from this nothingness, is now ready to serve. That’s why men have a very hard time with free time. They can’t stand facing themselves.

When soldiers who go to war and they come back - they’re changed. They are not going to need to prove that they are something because they got comfortable with being nothing. They were ready to die. When a man can face his own obliteration, then he is ready to be of service to others. He is ready to be feminine. But as long as he has to compensate for this fear and suspicion that he is basically nothing, he is married to it. He’s occupied full-time. He’s not available to anyone or anything. Because he’s got this ghost. That haunts him. Obsesses him. And every conversation …you know you think you’re talking to him, he’s not talking to you, he’s talking to his ghost.

So in order for a man to become a mentsch, he has to go through some very dramatic changes, which a woman doesn’t have to go through.

A little girl is born to her mother, which is perfectly okay. She grows up emulating her mother, wearing her mother’s high heels, perfectly okay, she grows up wanting to be Mummy, or a mummy, if not her Mummy - so she grows up wanting to be Mummy - perfectly okay. As she gets older, she becomes more and more of a girl - perfectly okay - her life is set, from the first moment, she is on her track, and all she has to do is keep going.

Not the case with a little boy. First of all, the fetus starts off female. And only the introduction of some shocking, cataclysmic molecule changes him into boy. Now we have no idea how painful that is. How would you like someone messing with your DNA molecules! Already there’s this wrenching change. Then he is born to a mother, a woman. And he starts to think, “ I want to be a mummy,” and you slap him and say, “ don’t you ever say that!” “ You can’t be a mummy.” Well, there’s the next wrench. So he has to separate from his Mummy, physically and psychologically - she is not his path in life.

So he starts off being a female fetus, then he has to change that, he starts off his mother’s darling and then he’s got to change that, he has to unbond from his mother and bond to his father, because he has to want to be a daddy. And it’s still not finished. But in order for him to become a man, he has to go through another wrenching change. He has to unbond from his father. Messy life!

This is not a very straight road. This is a very torturous road. And you could get stuck at any one stage and you’re finished. So what happens? After he is a boy, because he is bonded to his father, and he is getting along with his father - he has gained his father’s approval - which means he’s not a girl anymore - now he has to gain the approval of the male adult world, of men, and it can’t be his father, it has to be a stranger. That’s why a man has to go out and find a mentor, a king, someone to serve. And if he does that properly and wins the approval of this mentor - now he’s a man!

And you think that’s it, now he’s okay? No, once he becomes a man, now he can be feminine. This is so confusing! Sadly, in our society, we know nothing about any of this. Ah, primitive societies knew. They understood this perfectly. The boy had to be thrown out of the lodge, out of the cave, out of the tribe, and force to go off on his own, to whatever and if he survived and came back, he became a man.

Girls do not have to do that because it’s not in the female psyche, it’s not in the nature of a woman to have to go out and face her ghost. Because she doesn’t have one.

So how does a man get conformation of his manliness?

In order to be a man, you have to get that approval from a man who has made it. Then you know that their approval means something. But if you’re getting approval from other men who have not yet made it, like from the gang members - it doesn’t work! Doesn’t work. If you’re getting from your peers, you’re just lying to each other. You’re propping each other up. Bu this is not effective approval. And trying to get it from a woman is certainly not going to work.

There is still this need for a mentor, and the only way you can get to have a mentor, is you are ready to die - psychologically; if you are ready to give it all up. So when a chassid goes to the Rebbe, it’s not to get something, you don’t go to the Rebbe to get something, you go to the Rebbe to give it up. Everything. That’s how a man goes to the Rebbe. You go to the Rebbe to surrender completely: to die. And when you do that, then when the Rebbe tells you what you need to do, you are now completely devoted to whatever your mission is, to whatever your purpose in life is, because you’re not fighting your ghost anymore.

That’s called extreme humility. But it’s healthy because it’s simply an acceptance of reality.

Relationship ambiguity: Boyfriend and girlfriend labels

http://www.helium.com/tm/157378/define-label-relationships-begins

Our need to define and label relationships begins way before we become adults or even teenagers. Particularly for women. For starters, I recall the "best friend" necklaces that caused so many fights as a child, because they forced us kids to pick one best friend and share a broken necklace with them. There were "best friends" and "second best friends" and "best-est friends". Deep down, we were craving to be identified as that one special friend in someone else's life. To be placed above all other friends and feel important, wanted and cared for.

I don't know if boys did this as children, or if they just wanted to be well-liked in general. I know that as adults, women are usually the ones that want to label romantic relationships whereas men typicall prefer to hold off on defining things. Part of it could be evolutionary, with the woman needing the security of one man to be the father of her children, and the man wanting to spread his seed wherever possible.

In the past few years, I've come to both love and hate labels. Whether they define relationships, personal acheivements, beliefs, or whatever. I've learned that labels lead to all sorts of expectations and pre-conceived notions. And labels can rob an individual of his/her uniqueness or force a relationship to comply with certain standards. I know that I am a stronger person when I don't rely on lables to define me. Labels such as my job title, my physical/mental health conditions, my relationship status or something as simple as the "label" on my handbag. I see many people who use designer labels to help establish a sense of identity and status. I'm just me and I'm fluid and I change as I go through life and experience different things. The more self-awareness I have and the more honest I am about my feelings and needs, the less I need a label for a sense of security and identity.

Going back to the notion of relationship labels, this is where I am struggling at the moment. It seems that there are standard and accepted relationship statuses, as evidenced by MySpace (which has even made "swinger" a status!). You can be single, "casually" dating someone, in a boyfriend/girlfriend type relationship, engaged, married, or divorced. "Divorced", in my mind, is the same thing as being single. Just because you made a relationship mistake in the past, it shouldn't brand your "status" for life. Nowadays, there are also "friends with benefits" and "fuck buddies"- adding more complexity into the mix. But I digress.

Some people really enjoy the early stages of relationships where nothing as been defined. There are very few expectations and the focus is on getting to know each other. However, I've rarely been able to enjoy the early stages of relationships. I am often very anxious about where the relationship is headed, and I wonder when I will have the security of being able to call this person my "boyfriend". I've done myself a disservice over the years by not being able to relax in early stages and having un-necessary anxiety over the future of my relationships even during the first few weeks. I also feel intense external pressure from friends and family to define my relationships. "Is it exclusive? Is he your boyfriend? Do you think you'll marry him?" And perfectionist that I am, I feel like I need to provide the proper answer. It wouldn't be acceptable to have an ambiguous, un-labeled relationship after say, two months.

As I said earlier, I know that I am a stronger, freer person when I don't label myself and my relationships. But on the other hand, relationship labels indicate a certain level of commitment and define expectations, providing security and reducing anxiety. When you're in a relationship, you have to balance the notion of freedom with your commitment to the other person. I don't think you have to sacrifice freedom at all, actually, if you're in the right relationship. And you see the other person as bringing out your best, unique self.

I know couples that have been "engaged" for years and years, and still don't have definite wedding plans. I know couples that have lived together for a long time, with no intent of getting married. I know of "life partners" who don't even consider themselves boyfriend/girlfriend, but have very powerful relationships. I admire these people for doing what they want and not needing to conform to tradition. They seem content and secure in their relationships. Ideally, I would be able to do the same thing, but I don't think I am there yet. Ideally, the love I would share with the other person would define the relationship, even if it weren't understood by anyone else and even if it weren't easily labeled.

Most people use exclusivitity to define a relationship. If the person you're with doesn't want to date anyone else and wants to commit to being with you along, then they're traditionally considered your boyfriend or girlfriend. But often times, exclusivity is just that and carries no deeper meaning. It doesn't imply love and it doesn't imply expectations. A few years ago, I was in a long-term, exclusive relationship where I felt like we were exclusive friends with benefits, but I didn't feel like this guy was my "boyfriend" in the sense of being a partner. Just because he wasn't seeing anyone else, that didn't obligate him to be there for me 24/7 or spend a pre-determined amount of time with me. And he never said that he loved me. Ultimately, the relationship ended because my expectations for "boyfriend" weren't being met, and I felt like the relationship wasn't headed anywhere or even progressing. I'm now good friends with this man, but since we share a relationship history and a connection, I do feel a bit closer to him than the word "friends" would imply.

I don't have any real conclusions to draw here. I am still conflicted on how I feel about relationships. I've come a long way in terms of not labeling myself and using those labels to form an identity. But in terms of relationships, would I rather have a traditional "boyfriend" or a somewhat vauge/ambiguous relationship that was defined by the love and connection? A relationship in which me and my partner felt a unique bond, but it wasn't necessarily understood by others because of the lack of a "label"? I am torn. Many people would probably tell me I can have both and they aren't mutually exclusive. That a labelled relationship can definitely be defined by the love and connection the two people share. In my experience with relationships, this hasn't been the case. I've been in situations where I've had the label, but it didn't mean that the man was meeting my expectations. And I've been in situations where I've had an extreme closeness with the other person, but for whatever reason, there was no label. So, this is why I am beginning to question how much I need or want to be in a traditionally "defined" relationship.

True Love

http://peoplerelationships.syl.com/loverelationships/truelove

In most cases we think: this is true love, when in fact it's not. But than if this ain't love than what it is? There are plenty of things that we confuse with love.

It could be just the basic instinct. The feelings can be passionate and crazy, but in fact both people may want only sex. And after it all the misunderstanding starts, and once infatuated lovers will find out that they have nothing in common and sometimes they don't even know what to talk with each other.

Another variant is when people lack support, care and attention to their person or they just scared to stay single. Being with someone can be a habit when one simply got used to the other. It can either be a sick addiction or some self-interest. People call all these types of relationship love just by mistake or trying to conceal the true nature of it.

But than what does real love look and feel like? Maybe it's when two people seem to know each other for ages and even in their previous lives. They can go on talking and talking and conversation never lacks topics and never gets dull. Or people don't have to say anything because they understand each other without words. And those moments, minutes and even hours of silence are never uncomfortable. True love is when partners complete one another, when they're together it's peaceful, the whole other world with it's sufferings and problems doesn't exist and nothing even matters.

True love means understanding. One trusts another more than him/herself and feels ready to satisfy every little need of a partner. Two people don't stop for a second looking into each other eyes.

It's said that two persons truly in love aren't looking at each other but in the one direction. And this is rather reasonable because they don't say nothing "this is yours and this is mine" and share everything: friends, enemies, interests, problems and etc. One has his/her own identity but sees him/herself only as a part of the other. Still real love is not a relationship of property. If you really love someone you may say "I belong you" but always be ready to let go if it makes the person you love happy.

Jealousy stands out of the true love. How can one be jealous if there's so much love and faithfulness? Real love doesn't long for power, it doesn't want to hurt, doesn't want to punish for mistakes, it's self-sacrificing and ready to forgive other and other again. But it's wrong to think that true love is always a suffering, it only means that you take a person as he or she is and don't expect the one you love to be perfect.
True love isn't supposed to blow your mind, yet it doesn't tend to get and to possess – it's a and very special state of a soul.

But the question that true love is still has no definite answer. Do we truly love only once in our life? At what age are we supposed to meet our love? Does it last for a lifetime or just for a while? Probably everyone has his own answers to this questions. The truth is that no one should spend life chasing ideals or building relationships by some model of a true love. One will probably fail and miss the real thing beyond all this.

We should remember that very many things we need to supply our healthy and comfortable living but only the true feeling of love makes life really longer and happier. And this is scientifically proved.

Easy Vs Difficult

Easy is to get a place is someone's address book.
Difficult is to get a place in someone's heart.


Easy is to judge the mistakes of others
Difficult is to recognize our own mistakes


Easy is to talk without thinking
Difficult is to refrain the tongue


Easy is to hurt someone who loves us.
Difficult is to heal the wound...


Easy is to forgive others
Difficult is to ask for forgiveness


Easy is to set rules.
Difficult is to follow them...


Easy is to dream every night.
Difficult is to fight for a dream...

Easy is to show victory.
Difficult is to assume defeat with dignity...


Easy is to admire a full moon.
Difficult to see the other side...


Easy is to stumble with a stone.
Difficult is to get up...


Easy is to enjoy life every day.
Difficult to give its real value...


Easy is to pray every night.
Difficult is to find God in small things...


Easy is to promise something to someone.
Difficult is to fulfill that promise...


Easy is to say we love.
Difficult is to show it every day...


Easy is to criticize others.
Difficult is to improve oneself...


Easy is to make mistakes.
Difficult is to learn from them...


Easy is to weep for a lost love.
Difficult is to take care of it so not to lose it.


Easy is to think about improving.
Difficult is to stop thinking it and put it into action...


Easy is to think bad of others
Difficult is to give them the benefit of the doubt...


Easy is to receive
Difficult is to give


Easy to read this
Difficult to follow


Easy is keep the friendship with words
Difficult is to keep it with meanings.


The language of friendship is not words, but meanings.

Today, Tomorrow & Yesterday

Today I will delete from my diary
two days: yesterday and tomorrow
Yesterday was to learn
and tomorrow will be the consequence
of what I can do today.
Today I will face life
with the conviction that this day
will not ever return.
Today is the last opportunity
I have to live intensely,
as no one can assure me
that I will see tomorrow's sunrise.
Today I will be brave enough
not to let any opportunity pass me by,
my only alternative is to succeed.
Today I will invest
my most valuable resource:my time,
in the most transcendental work:
my life;
I will spend each minute
passionately to make
of today a different
and unique day in my life.
Today I will defy every obstacle
that appears on my way trusting
I will succeed.
Today I will resist
pessimism and will conquer
the world with a smile,
with the positive attitude
of expecting always the best.
Today I will make of every ordinary task
a sublime expression,
Today I will have my feet on the ground
understanding reality
and the stars' gaze
to invent my future.
Today I will take the time to be happy
and will leave my footprints and my
presence in the hearts of others.
Today, I invite you to begin a new season
where we can dream
that everything we undertake is possible
and we fulfill it,
with joy and dignity.

SMILE}
Have a good day and
a better one tomorrow!

When Things Are Beyond Your Control

Here's a recipe for permanent misery...
a) Decide how you think the world SHOULD be.
b) Make rules for how everyone SHOULD behave.

Then, when the world doesn't obey your rules, get angry! That's what
miserable people do!

Let's say you expect that:
Friends SHOULD return favours.
People SHOULD appreciate you.
Planes SHOULD arrive on time.
Everyone SHOULD be honest.
Your husband SHOULD remember your birthday.

These expectations may sound reasonable. But often, these things won't
happen!
So you end up frustrated and disappointed.

There's a better strategy. Have less demands. Instead, have preferences!

For things that are beyond your control, tell yourself: "I WOULD PREFER
"A", BUT IF "B" HAPPENS, IT'S OK TOO!"

This is really a game that you play in your head. It is a shift in
attitude, and it gives you more peace of mind ...

You prefer that people are polite ... but when they are rude, it doesn't
ruin your day. You prefer sunshine ... but rain is ok!

To become happier, we either need to
a) change the world, or
b) change our thinking. It is easier to change our thinking!

IN A NUTSHELL
It's not what happens to you that determines your happiness. It's how you
think about what happens to you.
"What ever you do, reach for the moon, and even if you fall, you are among
the stars!"

Planting more seeds

Take a look at an apple tree.
There might be five hundred apples on the tree, each with ten seeds.
That's a lot of seeds!

We might ask, "Why would you need so many seeds to grow just a few more
trees?"
Nature has something to teach us here. It's telling us: "Most seeds never
grow.

So if you really want to make something happen, you had better try more
than once."

This might mean:
You'll attend twenty interviews to get one job.
You'll interview forty people to find one good employee.
You'll talk to fifty people to sell one house, car, vacuum cleaner,
insurance policy, idea etc.

And you might meet a hundred acquaintances to find one special friend.

When we understand the "Law of the Seed", we don't get so disappointed.
We stop feeling like victims.

Laws of nature are not things to take personally. We just need to
understand them - and work with them.

IN A NUTSHELL
Successful people fail more often. They plant more seeds.

How To Spot A Great Guy

The 10 essential things to look for ...

Good Guys
Many women believe that all the good guys are taken, but you know that’s simply not true. iVillage.com is telling women exactly how to spot a great guy, so you best read on to see what qualities she’s looking for in her dream man.

Finding Mr Right
We all want to find a great guy. But let's face it: How many of your exes seemed fantastic at first, only for you to find out that they were Mr. Wrongs? Well, no more bad boys, mama's boys or anything of the sort! Dr. Bethany Marshall shares her shopping list for a healthy man in this excerpt from her book, Deal Breakers.

1. When you first meet a man, whether it's online, at the grocery store, at a bar, at school or at your job, you should feel that he wants you.
It may be conveyed by a look, a touch, a compliment, curiosity or attention to detail. And it must, within a short amount of time, be conveyed in person -- not online, through a text message or on the phone. And definitely, it should be backed up by his willingness to make a plan and move the relationship forward. If he's not interested enough to call in advance and make a plan, he's not interested enough to invest his emotions in a relationship. Conversely, constant calling, e-mailing and text-messaging is not true contact. He cannot touch you, see you, adore you or get to know you through words on a screen or over the phone.

2. Soon after meeting him, you should discover that he has appropriately achieved in at least one area of his life.
For instance, if he went to college he now has a good job. Or a decent car. If he inherited his parents' business, he has learned how to successfully manage it. Or if he is a member of a baseball team, he has learned to become a team player. His efforts continue to generate new opportunities, new skills, new challenges, or new possessions. Thus, he is progressing and not degenerating.

3. If he's a healthy man, he will never make plans for the future that he does not intend to back up.
And he will certainly not say, “I'm not sure where this relationship is going,” and then continue to call you and have sex with you. He will not send messages that are confusing and difficult to decipher. A healthy man says what he means and means what he says. And the words that he speaks are backed up by action that coincides. Even if he cannot give a guarantee, the relationship is always moving forward. Thus, you will never find yourself drunk-dialing at two in the morning because you fear that he is out with another girl. Or find yourself in a situation where he claims to want to get married , but you are the only one who is planning the wedding and paying for the caterer.

4. If you are in the right relationship, it will feel reciprocal and mutual.
When you offer emotional support, is he appreciative? Does he give back by surprising you with a special little something? Or remembering your favorite drink? Do you feel that what he gives is as valuable and meaningful as what you offer? For instance, if you set aside a Saturday night, will he make an entertainment plan that is enjoyable for both of you? If your car breaks down, will he come and get you? If you have a problem, will he help you? Is he as devoted to you as you are to him? Healthy relationships are based upon mutual give-and-take. And what is given and received should feel of equal value. If the only thing that you are getting out of this relationship is text messages or e-mails, occasional plans or the assurance that you won't be alone on a Saturday night, you are not getting what you need.

5. If he's the right guy for you, he will have good friends and you will like who he is when he's with them.
Whether he's at the bar, at a tailgate party or running for political office, you are confident that he is the man you know and love, both with you or apart from you. When he's out of sight, he does not turn into somebody else. For instance, a player. Or a jerk. Conversely, when you include him with your friends, you know who he will be: charming and engaging, enhancing instead of detracting.

6. If he's a healthy man, he will like you for who you are.
Even if you have a bad day or say something that he does not like, his adoration will remain steady and his view of you will remain the same. Beware of the guy whose perception changes whenever you deviate from his expectations. For instance, you dress a certain way and he refuses to hold you or compliment you. Or you gain weight and he stops having sex with you. Does he take pleasure in you, whether you look sexy in your low-rider jeans or have just gotten out of bed? Does he spend time with your family because he knows that you are a part of them? Is he interested in your spirituality? Or do you feel that you must suppress your personality in order to hold on to his approval? Even when it comes to your sexual preferences, you should feel free to reveal yourself without fear of losing his affection.

7. A healthy man will never view you as unconditionally bad or make you feel terrible about yourself.
Even in the midst of an argument, he will be able to see both the good and the bad in you. For instance, he will not stay mad at you once the argument is over. And he will move on instead of clinging to bad feelings or suspicions. He loves you and sees you as a good person, no matter what. And he would never refuse to call, refuse to be nice, or walk out the door without quickly returning simply because you shared your concerns with him.

8. A healthy man has a learning curve.
For instance, if you tell him that you need more time together or need him to stop doing something that is obnoxious, he will shift his behavior because he loves you and does not want to lose you. He is willing to learn from his mistakes and modify his actions. For instance, if he begins a friendship with a flirtatious girl and you let him know that this is creating a problem, he will be concerned about your feelings and come up with a solution. When you discuss relationship obstacles, he works on them. He would never admit to a substance abuse problem and then refuse to address it. Or agree to appropriately separate from his mother (who dislikes you), but then go running back to the nest.

9. If he is healthy, he will seek his own solutions.
For instance, if he has a problem, he will reach out to others for help, find resources, have a conversation, go to therapy, attend a 12-step program -- anything that will move him closer to making the changes that he needs to make. (You could do worse than give him this book. No, wait -- make him buy his own damn copy!) Petty pride, laziness or stubbornness will not keep him from taking the steps that he needs to take to have a full relationship with you.

10. A healthy man will not try to have power over you.
He won't leave you wondering where he is and what he is doing. Or leave you hanging just to prove a point. Or make you feel that you have to disappear for a few days to recover the power you once had. Even if he has more money, status and power, he will not make you feel that you would be nothing without him. A healthy man is willing to take you into account instead of pushing you away. He is willing to listen, meet your needs, and include you in mutual decision-making. Because you matter, he does not want to have undue influence or control over you. And he can trust that he is loved, even when he is not in charge. When it comes to who takes care of whom, and who makes the decisions, and who gets the last say, he is willing to negotiate (because, really, all of life is a little like Let's Make a Deal).

How do you know when you've met the right one?

http://www.warmwisdompress.com/dating-love/How_do_you_know.aspx

"How do you know when you've met the right one?"

Almost everyone asks this question at some point in their lives; unfortunately, there are not too many who get a concrete answer. But if you're reading this article, then you're one of the lucky few.

Interestingly, the criteria for choosing a spouse can be boiled down to just four characteristics. If you can find somebody with all four then it's highly likely that you've found your life partner.

1) What are This Person's Core Values?

Before you decide to marry someone, make sure that they are fully committed to some kind of objective moral and ethical standard. Whether we realize it or not, everyone has some kind of core value that is central to their personality. And when push comes to shove, that value is going to be the most important thing in the world to that person.

For example: Jerry's core value is adventure. When Jerry starts to date Diana, he happens to be volunteering at the local Emergency Room. He goes there every night, holds people's hands, calms them down. And Diana is thinking to herself that Jerry must have a heart of gold if this is how he's spending his spare time. Now, Jerry might really have a heart of gold. But he's volunteering because of his love for adventure. The ER is filled with action, it's exciting. So right now, Jerry's adventurousness happens to be expressing itself in a kind way. But that could change. Jerry might stop volunteering, and start trying other adventures that Diana may find unpleasant, dangerous, or even unethical.

However, if Jerry's core value is a commitment to goodness and caring, then everything he does will rotate around that, including his marriage. And Diana will be a very lucky woman if she marries him.

So how do you get to know the true Jerry? Surprisingly, it's not that difficult. No matter what a person's core value is, you will see him or her sacrificing for it on a daily basis. If Jerry's core value is adventure, then he might risk an accident in order to speed through an intersection or arrive late at work because he followed a police chase. If Diana follows him carefully, she'll see that he places adventure above other important things on his list of priorities.

But if Jerry's core value is goodness, then Diana will see him give up on certain things in order to be kind. If the waiter mixes up his order, he'll say thank you and eat the dish anyway. He'll let the other guy cross the intersection first, or he might be late to work because he drove a little old lady home with her groceries. If Diana follows him carefully, then she'll see him let go of some of his own desires in order to take care of other people.

So look for someone who is committed at the core to a higher set of values that you can appreciate.

2) Does This Person Treat Others Well?

Number two is obvious: You want to marry someone who is going to take care of you and treat you well. How to figure it out? Simple. Spend time with this person, and pay attention to how they treat others whom they don't necessarily care about because they're not trying to charm them. Do they thank the attendant who pumped gas for them? Are they courteous to people at checkout counters? Do they curse out people who don't deliver on time, like telephone operators or overworked waitresses? Do they tend to drive aggressively, as if there's no one else on the road?

Ask yourself questions like these and take note of the answers - because they reflect characteristics that will come out down the line. Most people don't guard themselves so carefully that they'll hide how they treat others. So watch them, and you'll know how they're going to treat you after you're married.

3) Do We Communicate Well With Each Other?

In other words, make sure that you understand each other. This may seem obvious, but it's not.

Sometimes you can see a couple in a fight and they argue for an hour, two hours, maybe even overnight. And then, at the end of round 16, it turns out that the whole thing was just a misunderstanding: "Oh, I thought you meant that...That's not what you meant? Oh, then we agree."

Although on an occasional basis this can happen to anyone, if it's happening constantly then it's not a good sign because that may not change. If you're constantly misunderstanding each other, then you might want to put this relationship on hold for a while.

4) Are We Physically Attracted to Each Other?

Physical attraction is an essential part of marriage. You cannot marry someone if you aren't physically attracted to them. And while men arrive at this conclusion somewhat quickly, women should give themselves some more time. Very often, a woman may not feel attracted to a man initially, but after she gets to know him she finds him much more attractive than before.

A word of caution: Although physical attraction is essential, you can't base a marriage on physicality. Whatever is going on physically is meant to be an expression of something deep that is happening on the emotional and spiritual level. The rule is - make sure that physical attraction is there, but don't get swept away by it. The other three characteristics are just as important, if not more so.

So there you have it. The next time you date someone, put what you've learned here into practice. It'll save you a lot of time and heartache, and you might find yourself walking down the aisle faster than you think.

The Chemistry of True Love

http://www.warmwisdompress.com/dating-love/The_Chemistry_of_True_Love.aspx

"But love is blind, and lovers cannot see."

One of Shakespeare's immortal quotes. He couldn't have hit the nail of today's dating world on the head any harder if he'd been given a sledgehammer.

That's because in the 21st century, love doesn't really mean love. And when love doesn't mean love, it becomes even more blinding than before.

See, when someone says, "We're in love," what they really mean - whether they realize it or not is another story - that they're infatuated with each other. They feel electricity, they feel a buzz.

That electricity is exciting, it's captivating. I'm not denying its importance. But the hard truth is that it can also cast a smoke screen over the real issues in a relationship. And the fact is that no way can a genuinely happy, loving, dynamic, lifelong relationship develop if the basis consists of nothing but electricity. Life brings a lot of power outages with it, and if a relationship is to survive them, it had better have an emotional generator to give it power.

So how can you tell the difference between plain electricity and an emotional generator?

Ask yourself the four questions.

Ladies and gentlemen, there are just four questions that will help you analyze your relationship to see if it's based on a deeper, emotional connection or on air.

Ready?

Okay. So, the first question is NOT "Do I love this person?" I repeat, DO NOT ask yourself this question. It will only confuse the issue. If you're thinking to yourself, "Why?" then reread the previous paragraph and come back.

Rather than ask, "Do I love this person?" the first question should be, "Do I admire and respect this person?"
Note, we said admire and respect, not impressed. Being impressed means, I'm impressed with her car, with his job, with her looks, with his build. Those are not things that reflect any kind of deep emotional connection.

If you feel that you do admire and respect the person you're dating, then think about exactly what it is that makes you feel that way. Is it a specific characteristic they possess - kindness, generosity, patience? Is it a certain mode of behavior - the way they interact with people, for instance? Be as honest and specific as you can, because respect and admiration form the basic emotional connection that people have with each other.

The next thing to ask yourself is, Do I trust this person?
In other words, do you feel that you can rely on them? Do you trust their judgment? Do they keep their word? A corollary of this would be, are they responsible?

The third question is, Do I feel safe?
Do you feel emotionally and physically safe with this person? Stated differently, do you trust them with yourself? Can you be vulnerable and open with them; can you express yourself freely, without fear of rejection?

And the final question is, Do I feel calm and at peace with this person?
Everybody (I hope) has at least one good friend with whom they just feel relaxed and calm. In its ideal state, marriage is the closest friendship you will ever have, so you definitely want to have that same feeling with your spouse.

Now, answering these questions might take time. If at this point you're still not sure of some of the answers, don't panic. Just keep evaluating the relationship until you understand what you really feel. Obviously, if the relationship has a real future then all of the answers will be "yes." And if the answer to even one of them is "no," then it's time to take another look at the relationship, and maybe even to call it quits.

Now, you may be wondering why it is so important to get all of these questions right just now. After all, at this point you're only dating. You're not married yet.

The reason this is so important is that the way you feel with this person now is the way you're going to feel with them after you're married. If you don't feel safe with them now, you won't feel safe later on. If you can't trust them now, you won't be able to trust them once you're married. And the last thing you want or need is to be married to someone whom you don't respect, cannot trust, and with whom you feel unsafe and uneasy.

So put in the effort. Ask yourself the four questions. If you need to, find someone reliable who can walk you through them - that might make it easier for you to really be in touch with your feelings.

But do it. Your life happiness depends on it.

Relationships Require Patience

http://www.warmwisdompress.com/dating-love/Relationships_Require_Patience.aspx

Knock, knock.

"It's open," I call.

Seth and Laura walk in.

"Please have a seat," I offer.

They sit down.

Seth looks depressed, and Laura looks like she should buy major stock in Visine.

Neither one of them say a word.

I realize that I'm going to have to step in with an opener, so I ask, "I understand you're having some difficulties in your relationship. Laura, would you like to start?"

Laura swallows and begins.

"We've been dating for about six months, and everything was going great. But a couple of weeks ago an issue came up...and..."

Laura chokes up, and Seth continues. "And we just can't seem to get past it. It's become a real problem in our relationship."

He looks even more depressed than before.

I know that my response is going to surprise them, as it's surprised so many couples before. "You know, that's great."

Their jaws drop. This time, Laura found her tongue first.

"What do you mean, 'great?' It's great that we're having problems? Great that I can't sleep at night!"

"It's not great that you can't sleep at night, but it is great that you're having problems and that you're acknowledging them."

I wasn't being sarcastic, by the way. When a couple has a problem, recognizes it and reaches out for help in dealing with it that really is great.

We live in an instant generation. We have instant coffee, instant oatmeal, instant messaging. Our computers need more and more memory, and every few months, fast Internet gets just a little bit faster. We can't wait for...anything.

To give you an example, my laptop had to be fixed. The technician told me that, among other things, there was something wrong with my e-mail program. How did he know? Because it took 3 seconds for it to connect. How long should it have taken? Maybe 3 milliseconds. It boggled my mind. In our generation, 3 seconds is too long to wait for results.

While this may be very convenient for drinking coffee or doing research, it has wreaked havoc on our interpersonal relationships. We have become so accustomed to instant results that we - perhaps subconsciously - expect relationships to work the same way.

But they don't.

Relationships take time. They take patience.

And they take a willingness to put things on the table.

That's why I told Seth and Laura that their situation was great. They realized that they were having difficulties, and were prepared to invest time and effort in working them out. Among other things, I gave them a list of three questions to guide them in putting issues on the table.

I'm going to give them to you, too.

Question #1: What do I need to know to be absolutely certain that I want to marry this person? Now, the reason this is important is that you are obviously not going to get to know every aspect of the other's personality through dating. You would have to date them for at least 15 years, and that probably wouldn't be long enough, either. The only framework in which you really get to know the whole person is marriage, because that's it. You're committed to each other, and you're committed to working things through. You're stuck, so to speak.

So what you do need to figure out is how much you feel that you do need to know before you can marry this person. What's important to you? Which character traits are important to you? Is there anything that bothers me about this person, or about the relationship? Is it something I honestly think I can live with, or is it something that's constantly going to come up between us? You need to answer these questions very clearly for yourself, and be very sure about the answers.

Question #2: Can I be vulnerable with this person, and are they willing to be vulnerable with me? This is important, because any marriage involves an exposure of our inner selves. Ask him what his biggest struggle in life has been so far. Ask her what her biggest fear is. Can you discuss your ambitions with each other, or are you afraid of what he might think? Can you discuss your fears with her, or are you concerned that she will put you down? If you cannot be vulnerable, then there is no way that you will be able to have an open relationship. And a marriage that is not open can be very easily torpedoed by the most insignificant difference of opinion.

Question #3: How does the other person react when you bring up issues that bother you? Tim and Nancy have been dating for a while, and are beginning to contemplate marriage. One night, they go out to dinner, and Tim uncharacteristically snaps at the waiter. Nancy can't believe it. Is this the Tim she's come to know? Nancy can now take advantage of this opportunity to see how Tim reacts when she calls him on something he shouldn't have done.

"Tim, honey, you know...I'm really sorry to say this, but you were really somewhat rude to the waiter back there in the restaurant."

If Tim answers something to the effect of, "Yeah, I know. I really shouldn't have snapped at the poor guy. It's not his fault I had a tough day at work," then Nancy will know that Tim is a person with whom issues can be aired and worked out. But a response like, "Oh, yeah? Let's see how you react after a day at work like I had," should start sounding alarm bells in Nancy's head as to whether or not Tim is capable of admitting his own faults and resolving differences of opinion.

Seth and Laura applied these three questions, and realized that the issues that had been bothering them were not as significant as they had originally thought. The invitation to their wedding landed in my mailbox yesterday, and I can't wait to go.

Ask yourself these three questions, too, and answer them honestly. You'll be surprised at how they can clear your emotional vision, and allow you to view your relationship in perfect focus.

Meaning of flowers!

A single bloom of red rose love at first sight or "I still love you"
A single rose in any colour indicates simplicity and gratitude
2 roses mutual feelings
3 roses "I love you"
7 roses "I'm infatuated with you"
9 roses "We'll be together forever"
10 roses "You are perfect"
11 roses "You are My Treasured One"
12 roses "Be mine!"
13 roses "Friends forever"
15 roses "I'm truly sorry"
20 roses "I'm truly sincere towards you"
21 roses "I'm dedicated to you"
24 roses "Forever yours"
25 roses Congratulations
36 roses "Remembering our romantic times"
40 roses "My genuine love for you"
50 roses Unconditional love
99 roses "I will love you all the days of my life"
101 roses "I'm completely devoted to you"
108 roses "Will you marry me?"
999 roses "I love you till the end of time"

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Acacia Concealed Love; Beauty in Retirement; Chaste Love
Ambrosia Your Love is Reciprocated
Amaryllis Pride; Pastoral Poetry
Amaryllis/Hippeastrum I am proud of you; pride
Anemone Forsaken
Anemone/Mona Lisa I don't want to lose you
Anthurium, Red You work to get where you are
Anthurium, White Think of me
Arbutus Thee Only Do I Love
Aster Symbol of Love, Daintiness
Aster China Variety is the spice of life
Azalea Take Care of Yourself for Me; Temperance; Fragile Passion; Chinese Symbol of Womanhood
Bachelor Button Single Blessedness
Begonia Beware
Bells Of Ireland Good Luck
Bellflower / Campanula Gratitude
Bird of Paradise Flower Freedom, Good perspective
Bittersweet Truth
Butterfly Orchid You are always on my mind
Bluebell Humility
Cactus Endurance
Camellia, Pink Longing for you
Camellia, Red You're a Flame in My Heart
Camellia, White You're Adorable
Carnation, General Fascination; Woman Love
Carnation, Pink I'll Never Forget You; Motherly love
Carnation, Red My Heart Aches For You; Admiration;
I hold you in high esteem; respect
Carnation, Purple Capriciousness
Carnation, Solid Color Yes
Carnation, Striped No; Refusal; Sorry I Can't Be With You;
Wish I Could Be With You
Carnation, White Sweet and Lovely; Innocence; Pure Love;
Woman's Good Luck Gift
Carnation, Yellow You Have Disappointed Me; Rejection; Enjoy the moment
Cattail Peace; Prosperity
Celosia Fortune
Chrysanthemum, General You're a Wonderful Friend; Cheerfulness and Rest
Chrysanthemum, White Truth
Chrysanthemum, Yellow Slighted Love
Crocus Cheerfulness
Cyclamen Don't lose faith in me
Cypress Mourning
Cyclamen Resignation and Good-bye
Daffodil Regard; Unrequited Love; You're the Only One;
The Sun is Always Shining when I'm with You
Daffodil Narcissus You are an angel
Dahlia Fickleness
Daisy Innocence; Loyal Love; I'll Never Tell; Purity
Daisy, Garden I share your sentiment
Daisy, Red Joy
Daisy, White Innocence; truth
Daisy, Yellow I will try hard to earn your love
Dandelion Faithfulness; Happiness
FERN Magic; Fascination; Confidence and Shelter
FIR Time
FLAX Domestic Symbol
Flowering Cabbage Prosperity
Foget-Me-Not True Love; Memories
Forsythia Anticipation
Forget Me Not True love
Gardenia You're Lovely; Secret Love
Geranium Stupidity; Folly
Gerbera You are the sunshine of my life
Ginger, Pink Diversity
Ginger, Red Unlimited Wealth
Gladioli Give Me a Break; I'm Really Sincere; Flower of the Gladiators
Gladiolus / Sword Lily Strength of Character
Gloxinia Love at First Sight
Heather, Lavender Admiration; Solitude
Heather, White Protection; Wishes Will Come True
Helenium I miss you very much
Heliconia Great returns
Holly Defense; Domestic Happiness
Hyacinth, General Games and Sports; Rashness; Flower Dedicated to Apollo
Hyacinth, Blue Constancy; Predictability; reliable
Hyacinth, Purple I am Sorry; Please Forgive Me; Sorrow
Hyacinth, Red Or Pink Play
Hyacinth, White Loveliness; I'll Pray for You; Subtle and graceful
Hyacinth, Yellow Jealousy
Hyacinthus, Pink Active; energetic
Hydrangea Thank You for Understanding; Frigidity; Heartlessness; Arrogance; aloofness
Iris Fleur-de-lis; Emblem of France;
Your Friendship Means so Much to Me;
Faith; Hope; Wisdom and Valor;
My Compliments; Passion
Ivy Wedded Love; Fidelity; Friendship; Affection;
Friendship; fidelity; marriage
Jasmine Amiability
Jonquil Love Me; Affection Returned; Desire; Sympathy;
Desire for Affection Returned
Larkspur, White Joyful; happy-go-lucky
Larkspur, Pink Fickleness
Larkspur, Purple Sweet disposition
Lilac Field Humility
Lilac, Purple You are my first love
Lilac, White You are so pure and innocent
Lily of the Valley Return of happiness
Lily, Calla Your voice is music to my ears
Lily, Casablanca I am in heaven when I'm with you
Lily, Pink Romantic
Lily, Stargazer I see heaven in your eyes
Lily, Yellow Live for the moment; nothing is forever;
I'm Walking on Air; False and Gay
Lily, White Virginity; Purity; Majesty; It's Heavenly to be with You
My love is pure and innocent
Lily, Calla Beauty
Lily, Day Coquetry; Chinese Emblem for Mother
Lily, Eucharis Maiden Charms
Lily, Tiger Wealth; Pride
Lily Of The Valley Sweetness; Tears of the Virgin Mary; Return to Happiness; Humility; You've Made My Life Complete
Magnolia Nobility
Marigold Cruelty; Grief; Jealousy
Mistletoe Kiss me; Affection; To Surmount Difficulties;
Sacred Plant of India
Monkshood Beware; A Deadly Foe is Near
Moss Maternal Love; Charity
Myrtle Love; Hebrew Emblem of Marriage
Narcissus Egotism; Formality; Stay as Sweet as You Are
Nasturtium Conquest; Victory in Battle
Oleander Caution
Orange Blossom Innocence; Eternal Love; Marriage and Fruitfulness
Orange Mock Deceit
Orchid Love; Beauty; Refinement; Beautiful Lady;
Chinese Symbol for Many Children
Orchid, Cattleya Mature Charm
Paeonia Bashful
Palm leaves Victory and Success
Peony Shame; Happy Life; Happy Marriage
Petunia Resentment; Anger; Your Presence Sooths Me
Phlox A good partnership; harmony
Pine Hope; Pity
Poppy, Oriental Silence is golden
Poppy, Red Consolation; Pleasure
Poppy, Scarlet Extravagance
Poppy, White Tranquility; Consolation
Poppy, General Eternal Sleep; Oblivion; Imagination
Poppy, Yellow Wealth; Success
Primrose I Can't Live Without You
Primrose, Evening Inconstancy
Ranunculus You are very attractive
Rose, Black You are my obsession
Rose, Champagne You are tender & loving
Rose, Leonidas Sweet love
Rose, Nicole You are graceful & elegant; aristocratic
Rose, Orange You are my secret love
Rose, Pink Brilliant Complexion; the glow of your smile;
Perfect Happiness; Please Believe Me
Rose, Red Passionate love; Love; I Love You
Rose, Single Stems Simplicity
Rose, White I am worthy of you; spiritual love; Innocence and Purity;
I am Worthy of You; You're Heavenly; Secrecy and Silence
Rose, White & Red We are not separable; unity
Rose, White & Red Mixed Unity; Flower Emblem of England
Rose, White-Dried Death is Preferable to Loss of Virtue
Rose, Yellow I am not worthy of your love; Decrease of Love;
Jealousy; Try to Care
Rose, Bridal Happy Love
Rose, Dark Crimson Mourning
Rose, Hibiscus Delicate Beauty
Rose, Leaf You May Hope
Rose, Tea I'll Remember Always
Rose, Thornless Love at First Sight
Roses, Bouquet of Mature Blooms Gratitude
Roses, Single Full Bloom I Love You; I Still Love You
Rosebud Beauty and Youth; A Heart Innocent of Love
Rosebud, Red Pure and Lovely
Rosebud, White Girlhood
Rosebud, Moss Confessions of Love
Scabiosa Admiration
Scilla Forgive & forget
Snapdragon Please don't misunderstand
Snowball/Viburnum Commitment
Spider Flower Elope with Me
Stock Lasting beauty
Sunflower Adoration
Sweet Pea Delicate pleasures
Smilax Loveliness
Snapdragon Deception; Gracious Lady
Stephanotis Happiness in Marriage; Desire to Travel
Stock Bonds of Affection; Promptness;
You'll Always Be Beautiful to Me
Sweetpea Good-bye; Departure; Blissful Pleasure;
Thank You for a Lovely Time
Tulip, Cream I will love you forever
Tulip, Red Declaration of love; Believe Me; Declaration of Love
Tulip, Yellow I am hopelessly in love; There's Sunshine in Your Smile
Tulip, General Perfect Lover; Frame; Flower Emblem of Holland
Tulip, Variegated Beautiful Eyes
Veronica Fidelity
Violet Modesty
Violet, Blue Watchfulness; Faithfulness; I'll Always Be True
Violet, White Let's Take a Chance
Waratah Prosperity
Willow Bravery & humanity Zinnia Thoughts of absent friends
Zinnia, Magenta Lasting Affection
Zinnia, Mixed Thinking (or In Memory) of an Absent Friend
Zinnia, Scarlet Constancy
Zinnia, White Goodness
Zinnia, Yellow Daily Remembrance

Quotes to Think About

Isn't it the small daily happenings that make life so spectacular?

If you were put on this planet to accomplish a certain number of things, then if you procrastinate, would you live longer?

Is it possible to think of Nothing?

Do brainstorms come with thunder and lightning?

How come everyone seems normal until you get to know them?

Why is it that once your children grow up they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going?

Why are teenagers expected to be mature enough to make their own decisions about clothing dating etc. but their parents won't let them?

Why is it that when women hold off from marrying men we call it independence but when men hold off from marrying women we call it fear of commitment?

Why do men forget everything and women remember everything?

Why is it that when men say something and do something else, they 'lied', but when women do the same thing, they 'changed their mind'?

http://www.gadzillionthings.net/

--

Other quotes

A genius is 1% inspiration and 99%perspiration

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Failure is not falling down, it is not getting up again. - Mary Pickford

"Life is tough, it's tougher when you're stupid." - John Wayne

"My life has a superb cast but I can't figure out the plot." - Ashleigh Brilliant

"Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted." - Albert Einstein

"The masses are the asses." -Karl Marx

"The trouble with work is that it interferes with living." - Peter Mckill 1968

http://coolsig.com/quotations1.html

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Crime doesn't pay... does that mean my job is a crime?

Does a person ever get sick without being tired?

If 7-11 is open 24-7 and 365 days a year why do they have locks on their doors?

If a train station is where the train stops, what is a work station?

If vegetarians love animals so much, why do they eat all their food?

If your clone kills you, is that suicide?

Practice makes perfect, but if nobody's perfect, why practice?

Why can't you make another word using all the letters in 'anagram'?

Fragile - Handle With Care.

"Love is when someone hurts you.
And you get so mad but you don't yell at
them because you know it would hurt their
feelings."

The Fragility of Relationships

Relationships are not all plain sailing at all
times. Some relationships work, some don't. It is
uncommon to have love at first sight in our modern
society, although some couples really are together
because of love at first sight. For the rest of us,
a relationship requires work and nurturing. In other
words, we have to put in time and effort to make
relationships work. In addition, the emotional and
physical efforts put into a relationship also
contribute to a successful couplehood. It is
precisely the efforts and time put in that we
sometimes find it difficult to let go when a
relationship turns sour.

Letting go is perhaps the most difficult part of any
relationship - be it a happy one or one facing
difficulties. However, when a relationship turns
sour, when a couple no longer sees themselves as
having a future together, letting go is perhaps the
most sensible course of action. It is easier if you
were to treat it as a period of learning, tumbling
and falling until finally you learn to walk or run.
In this case, it is until you find the right person.

That the joy and happiness associated with having a
boyfriend or girlfriend can so easily give way to
sadness and unhappiness tells us precisely that a
relationship is fragile. Indeed, like life,
relationships are fragile. And, like a broken
mirror, a broken relationship is often difficult to
mend. If my friend, who was so set on taking this
girl as his wife and went out with her for a long 8
years can discover after 1 year together in a
foreign land that they are not meant to be,
relationships are indeed fragile.

Treasure your relationship, if you are in one now.
For, you will never know when the next storm will
come and break the tiny strands of bonding you have.

Fragile - Handle With Care.

Another meaningful article

If you're not married, share this with a friend.
If you are married, share it with your spouse or other married couples and reflect on it.

An African proverb states,
"Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye."

Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone.
Don't let lust, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem, make you blind to warning signs.
Keep your eyes open.
And don't fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults isn't really important.
Once you decide to commit to someone;
Over time his or her flaws, vulnerabilities, pet peeves, and differences will become more obvious.

If you love your mate and want the relationship to grow and evolve;
You've got to learn to close one eye and not let every little thing bother you.
You and your mate have many different expectations, emotional needs, values, dreams, weaknesses, and strengths.
Neither of you are perfect, but are you perfect for each other?
Do you bring out the best in each other?
Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete, compare, and control?

What do you bring to the relationship?
Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain?

You can't take someone to the altar to alter him or her.
You can't make someone love you or make someone stay

if you develop self-esteem spiritual discernment, and "a life";

You won't find yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your pain.

Manipulation, control, jealousy, neediness, and selfishness are NOT the ingredients of a thriving, healthy, loving and lasting relationship!

Seeking status, sex, wealth, and security are the WRONG reasons to be in a relationship.

What keeps a relationship STRONG?
Communication
Intimacy
Trust
A sense of humor
Sharing household tasks
Some getaway time without business or children and daily exchanges

(A meal, shared activity, a hug, a call, a touch, a note).
Leave a nice message on the voicemail or send a nice email (Don't we wish!!??!!)
Sharing of common goals and interests.

GROWTH is important.
Grow together, not away from each other, giving each other space to grow without feeling insecure.
Allow your mate to have outside interest.
You can't always be together.
Give each other a sense of belonging and assurances of commitment.
Don't try to control one another.
Learn each other's family situation.
Respect his or her parents regardless.
Don't put pressure on each other for material goods.
Remember for richer or for poorer.

If these qualities are missing;
The relationship will erode as resentment, withdrawal, abuse, neglect, dishonesty, and pain replace the passion.

The difference between 'United' and 'Untied' is where you put the "i"....

Maintaining a relationship

1. Be realistic about each other.

Don't try to turn ur partner into something he or she is not. Let's face it, guys-there's only 1 Pamela Anderson in the world, and even she has had her implants removed! Give ur gal a break and understand that her physical appearance is NOT going to change overnite with the help of a few facials or treatments. And ladies, Brad Pitt has already been taken, so u're gonna have to do with what ur guy is like! Chill out, love each other for what u are. There is more to ur partner than what meets the eye.


2. Always talk things out.
Now guys, I know this is not ur fave pastime or mode of resolving issues, but u know what? This works with the gals. Don't make assumptions about each other's feelings. Learn to xpress urself better so that ur partner understands what u're angry about, or hurt about, or even happy about! When u stop talking to each other from the heart, it's the beginning of the end.


3. Do stuff together.
Make an effort to do things together. Do some sports or involve urselves in some shared activities; something both of u enjoy or are interested in. It could be as simple as watching movies together, or jus strolling hand-in-hand down Orchard Road. Watch soccer with him once
in a while though the green patch on TV puts u to sleep in 3 seconds. And guys, do give in if ur gal asks for another day at window-shopping, rather than suggest that she go out with her girlfriends for "that sort of activities" instead. If u're spending more time with ur friends rather than with ur partner, it's a warning sign that u're drifting apart!!!


4. Meet each other halfway.
If he agrees to throw out that rotten
T-shirt with the "The_Rock" print, u shouldn't kick up much
of a fuss if he asks u to keep ur room tidy. There's gotta
be a little giving and taking in a relationship, so learn
to meet each other halfway.


5.Show ur love
Buy her flowers or candy or perfume everynow
and then, even if u have been together for 5years. It's
wonderful to continue showing someone that u care for him
or her. Cook him a special meal, paint him a Valentine's
Day card. Knit him mini-socks he can't wear ( like for
decoration purposes => ), buy him a packet of milk for
breakfast, or pack his wardrobe for him...so he knows u can
still be romantic and loving despite having been together
for quite a while.


6. Respect each other.
Stop making jokes about her hair or skin, or
whatever it is u love to laugh at. Ask urself if she thinks
if its funny. And if he has an inferiority complex about
his height, stop ogling at tall guys and make him feel
worse! Love is about respecting each other's feelings and
being sensitive to each other at all times.


7. Bury the past.
Stop bringing up the past. Gals..don't bring
up the happy things about u and ur ex to ur guy, it would
jus make him jealous or unhappy. And guys, don't talk about
the happy times that u had with ur ex or mention about her
in ur every other sentence as it would make ur gal feel
un-happy and she might think that u saying all this b'cos u
are gonna get back with ur ex or not interested in her
anymore.


8. Sit on ur jealousy.
All of us go thru' spells of insecurity at
the beginning of the relationship, but don't translate that
insecurity into jealousy. If u're gonna go through ur
partner's mail and cupboard, and eavesdropping on
conversations, u know something is wrong - with u!!!
Jealousy is like a poison that slowly spreads thru' the
relationship before finally killing it. Trust ur partner;
love has to have trust in it.


9. Keep ur commitments to each other.
If ur partner is standing u up all the time
and cancelling dates and breaking promises, u need to talk!
If u're in a relationship, make ur partner ur priority and
don't disappoint them if u can help it. It's really
terrible when someone promises to take u to dinner, and
then calls to cancel it. Don't make promises u can't keep.
If ur partner starts to feel that he/she is not important
enough to u, u may jus lose him/her.


10. Be honest.
Honesty is not scowling at how awful she
looks first thing in the morning, or telling him that he
has the biceps of a fly~! When we say "be honest", we mean
expressing ur feelings clearly, not being bitingly cruel.
When u're hurt, say so, and when u're angry, tell him/her,
w/o getting hysterical. If u can't be honest with ur
partner, who can u be honest with? æ Love is also about
honesty, and a relationship where no honesty exists
probably isn't worth it!

The Cracked Pot

A water bearer in India had two large pots, each hung on each end of a pole which he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, and while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water at the end of the long walk from the stream to the master's house, the cracked pot arrived only half full.

For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water in his master's house. Of course,the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, perfect to the end for which it was made. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do.

After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream. "I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you." "Why?" asked the bearer. "What are you ashamed of?" "I have been able, for these past two years, to deliver only half my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your master's house. Because of my flaws, you have to do all of this work, and you don't get full value from your efforts," the pot said.

The water bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot, and in his compassion he said, "As we return to the master's house, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path." Indeed, as they went up the hill, the old cracked pot took notice of the sun warming the beautiful wild flowers on the side of the path, and this cheered it some. But at the end of the trail, it still felt bad because it had leaked out half its load, and so again it apologized to the bearer for its failure.

The bearer said to the pot, "Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of your path, but not on the other pot's side? That's because I have always known about your flaw, and I took advantage of it. I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back from the stream, you've watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate my master's table. Without you being just the way you are, he would not have this beauty to grace his house."

Moral: Each of us has our own unique flaws. We're all cracked pots. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding. You've just got to take each person for what they are, and look for the good in them. There is a lot of good out there. There is a lot of good in you!

Remember to APPRECIATE all the different people in your life! Never ever take anyone around you for granted.

Put down the glass of water

A lecturer was giving a lecture to his student on stress management.

He raised a glass of water and asked the audience, "How heavy do you think this glass of water is?"

The students' answers ranged from 20g to 500gm.

"It does not matter on the absolute weight. It depends on how long you hold it.

If I hold it for a minute, it is OK.

If I hold it for an hour, I will have an ache in my right arm.

If I hold it for a day, you will have to call an ambulance.

It is the exact same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes."

"If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, we will not be able to carry on, the burden becoming increasingly heavier."

"What you have to do is to put the glass down, rest for a while before holding it up again."

We have to put down the burden periodically, so that we can be refreshed and are able to carry on.

So before you return home from work tonight, put the burden of work down.

Don't carry it back home. You can pick it up tomorrow.

Whatever burdens you are having now on your shoulders, let it down for a moment if you can.

Pick it up again later when you have rested...

Rest and relax.

Life is short, enjoy it!!

Morale booster

Take a look at an apple tree.
There might be five hundred apples on the tree, each with ten seeds.
That's a lot of seeds!

We might ask, "Why would you need so many seeds to grow just a few more trees?"
Nature has something to teach us here. It's telling us: "Most seeds never grow.

So if you really want to make something happen, you had better try more than once."

This might mean:
You'll attend twenty interviews to get one job.
You'll interview forty people to find one good employee.
You'll talk to fifty people to sell one house, car, vacuum cleaner, insurance policy, idea etc.

And you might meet a hundred acquaintances to find one special friend.

When we understand the "Law of the Seed", we don't get so disappointed.
We stop feeling like victims.

Laws of nature are not things to take personally. We just need to understand them - and work with them.

IN A NUTSHELL
Successful people fail more often. They plant more seeds.
~~~~~####~~~~~
When Things Are Beyond Your Control

Here's a recipe for permanent misery...
a) Decide how you think the world SHOULD be.
b) Make rules for how everyone SHOULD behave.

Then, when the world doesn't obey your rules, get angry! That's what miserable people do!

Let's say you expect that:
Friends SHOULD return favours.
People SHOULD appreciate you.
Planes SHOULD arrive on time.
Everyone SHOULD be honest.
Your husband SHOULD remember your birthday.

These expectations may sound reasonable. But often, these things won't happen!
So you end up frustrated and disappointed.

There's a better strategy. Have less demands. Instead, have preferences!

For things that are beyond your control, tell yourself: "I WOULD PREFER "A", BUT IF "B" HAPPENS, IT'S OK TOO!"

This is really a game that you play in your head. It is a shift in attitude, and it gives you more peace of mind ...

You prefer that people are polite ... but when they are rude, it doesn't ruin your day. You prefer sunshine ... but rain is ok!

To become happier, we either need to
a) change the world, or
b) change our thinking. It is easier to change our thinking!

IN A NUTSHELL
It's not what happens to you that determines your happiness. It's how you think about what happens to you.
"What ever you do, reach for the moon, and even if you fall, you are among the stars!"

Life of an architecture student

For architecture majors...read this and you'll be amazed that it's almost 100% true!!

For non architecture majors...read this if u wanna know the life of architecture major ppl

You know you're an Architecture Student when . . .

1. you analyze everything as if it were a building.
2. concept of time is not forward, but a countdown from the time a project is due ("What time is it?""4 hours 'till").
3. you slice your finger, and the first thing you think of is if you'll be able to finish your model.
4. you say "It's only midnight- I have plenty of time to finish."
5. you confuse today and tomorrow.
6. you carry a toothbrush in your backpack.
7. you confuse sunrise with sunset.
8. the alarm clock tells you when to go to sleep.
9. you strangle your roommate because he said he stayed up late studying.
10. you're not ashamed of drooling in class anymore, especially in the Structures lesson.
11. you know what UHU tastes like.
12. breakfast is your 5th meal of the day.
13. the morning newspaper beats you home.
14. The idea that you have a room to live in outside of studio is just a myth.
15. you hear "Didn't you wear that yesterday?' followed by "and the day before that?"
16. you roommate files a 'Missing Person Report.'
17. someone asks you for your phone number and you give them the studio's.
18. You draw perspectives of your friends room on your Japanese homeowork just for the fun of it.
19. Whenever you finish a project and don't have any studio work to do, you are constantly wondering why you aren't in studio working.
20. You buy trace paper in mass quantities.
21. You understand what 4B, 2B, B, HB, H, 2H, and 4H are and have lots of each type.
22. Your idea of splurging on yourself is buying another circle template (or other miscellaneous template).
23. YOU ALWAYS WRITE IN ALL CAPITAL LETTERS.
24. You put a scale under everything you draw so that people know how big it is.
25. The biggest decision you have to make near the end of the term is "pencil, or ink?"
26. You always have a supply of bandaids around for exacto knife cuts.
27. You have a 30, 60, 90 and a 45, 45, 90 degree triangle. Or two. Or three. Or more.
28. You keep around adjustable triangles too just in case.
29. You start replacing pictures of your friends and family with pictures of buildings.
30. Watching the sun rise means you haven't gone to bed yet.
31. You never have enough wall space to pin things up.
32. You no longer leave studio to sleep, you just crash on the couch.
33. Your idea of relaxation is going to Writing 122.
34. You always have a supply of portable and non perishable food.
35. You can go for days without sunlight. (You go to class in the dark, you come home in the dark).
36. Midnight is considered early evening.
37. You put up everything on your walls with drafting tape.
38. Push pins become a valuable commodity.
39. on Halloween you trick-or-treat in studio to get arch supplies or 'Red Bull.'
40. Computers are known only as the white box of death. (They keep crashing on you).
41. you can live without human contact, food or daylight, but if you can't print, it's chaos.
42. Pencil smudges and ink smears are the bane of your existance.
43. You start competing with each other for number of hours without sleep. (Less than 40 need not compete).
44. redbull, coffee and cokes are tools, not treats.
45. Your four basic food groups are candy, caffeine, coffee, and pretzels.
46. Time spent with friends must be scheduled way in advance.
47. you've slept more than 20 hours non-stop in a single weekend.
48. you've listened to all your CDs in less than 48 hours.
49. you're not seen in public.
50. you lose your house keys for a week, and you don't even notice.
51. Days don't exist anymore, everything is based on number of hours of work. (Of which there are a lot).
52. you've used an entire role of film to photograph the sidewalk.
53. you become excellent at recycling when making models.
54. you take notes and messages with a rapidograph and colour markers.
55. you hear the same song on the radio 3 or more times in one night.
56. your parents have more of a social life than you.
57. your 11-year-old sister has more of a social life than you.
58. you consider using broccoli for your models.
59. you're dating another architecture student.
60. your friends get more sleep in one night than you do in one week.
61. you know all the 24-hour food places in the area.
62. you consider 3AM an early night.
63. "scoring" involves an X-Acto blade
64. you don't find out who wins the Presidential Election until Thanksgiving Break, if you get one at all.
65. you've got more photos of buildings than of actual people.
66. you've taken your girlfriend on a date to a construction site.
67. you've ever dreamt about your models.
68. upon hearing 'supermodel', you think of a nicely crafted-foam core model.
69. when you are being shown pictures of a trip, you ask what the human scale is.
70. you start wearing all black.
71. you carry a sweatshirt to all of your classes.
72. you have no life, and admit it.
73. you refer to outside studio as the "Real World."
74. you can use Photoshop, Illustrator, and make a web page, but you don't know how to use Excel.
75. you refer to great architects (dead or alive) by the first name as if you knew them. (Frank, Corbu, Mies, Norman...).
76. you buy 50-dollar architectural magazines that you haven't read yet.
77. when someone offers you a BIC pen, you feel offended.
78. all of the Christmas gifts you give are wrapped in trace.
79. you ask Santa Clause for architecture supplies.
80. Everytime you tell someone what your Major is they just look at you and say, "I'm sorry."


You know all of these are true, no exaggerations. ;)

Adversity

A daughter complained to her father about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved a new one arose.

Her father, a chef, took her to the kitchen. He filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to a boil. In one he placed carrots, in the second he placed eggs, and the last he placed ground coffee beans. He let them sit and boil, without saying a word. The daughter sucked her teeth and impatiently waited, wondering what he was doing.

In about twenty minutes he turned off the burners. He fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. He pulled the eggs out and placed them a bowl. Then he ladled the coffee out and placed it in a mug. Turning to her he asked. "Darling, what do you see."

"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied.

He brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. He then asked her to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg. Finally, he asked her to sip the coffee. She smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. She humbly asked. "What does it mean Father?"

He explained that each of them had faced the same adversity, boiling water, but each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. But after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak.

The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior. But after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened.

The ground Coffee beans were unique however. After they were in the boiling water, they changed the water.

"Which are you?" he asked his daughter.

"When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond?

Are you a Carrot, an Egg, or a Coffee bean? "

*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*

How about you?

Are you the Carrot that seems hard, but with pain and adversity do you wilt and become soft and lose you strength?

Are you the Egg, which starts off with a malleable heart? Were you a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a divorce, or a layoff became hardened and stiff. Your shell looks the same, but are you bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and heart?

Or are you like the Coffee bean? The bean changes the hot water, the source that brings it pain, to its peak flavour when it reaches 100 degrees Celsius. When the water gets the hottest, the coffee just tastes better. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and make things better around you.

How do you handle adversity?

Are you a Carrot, an Egg, or a Coffee bean?

Zodiac Series - Pisces

Pisces Man

He is very emotional and always allow himself to be very emotional. He can have a good night sleep and be in a good mood, and less than few hours at work he can be very moody. He does not understand things or try to understand things easily. If you notice him carefully, you will notice what kind of moods he is in.

He is a thinker and able to do well at work and always succeed. His normal gestures mean he always look at other people faults, but he will not talk about it. He has the ability to know your thought and able to tell you what you are thinking about.

He can mostly memorize all his anger, his loves. They are his important secrets and he will keep them to himself and will never let you know. He is not a very ambition man and careless about his position in society. Wealth does not drawn his attention, because he is not greedy man and as well he thinks money is not something that will last. He could be very careless about his future. He does not like to fight against all odds, but instead following the stream and make life easier. Sometimes because he likes to take an easy path, which cause him very unsteady future.

He is kind and slightly lazy, but it is his cute character. He hates rules and regulations. He will never look down on people. He is a polite guy and can be very aggressive when he is mad. He loves to think that he lives in a beautiful world and surround by nice people, so if he finds his world is cruel and not what he expects, he will live in his world instead.

His other charm is that he is a funny guy, and it is his real weapon. He can tease you and yet make it looks like one of his joke. Even when he is sad, he still has that funny face, so you could hardly tell if he is mad or depress. He likes to hide his feeling and help other people especially those who need friend or lonely.

He will be everything that you want and everything you do not want. He has a chance to make it as much as a chance to fail. He can determine to make it work and can do it well, except he tends to lost his energy with other important things, that's how he miss many of his good opportunity.

He can be happy and content by himself. What he think is important is not "Love" ,but firm status and stability. He has plenty of love for you.

He is a good speaker, as much as he is a good listener. When he is with you, he wants to be happy. He understand his partner's emotional. He likes to take a long rest and sometimes being alone. If he needs to be alone, try not to disturb him.

He is a sensitive, quiet , shy and easily hurt. He wants to feel worthy. He can be mad and noisy, but once he calm down, he will be that happy person again. He is not a jealous or possessive guy, and if he feels jealous he will hide it. He has many friends of both sex, and he care about his friends. He likes to have lots of friends, so you can not get jealous or else you will loose him. He likes beautiful things, so if a pretty woman walk by he will look ,so do not get mad at him knowing this fact.

When he is lonely or feeling sad, be close to comfort him. He does not like to take advice,so if you want him to listen or to follow your advice, you have to act as a good sample for him first. He likes a cheery and a smart woman. If you treat him like he is your special person, then he will be that special person for you. He will trust you if he is in love, but try not to over doing it and spoil him too much. You have to know yourself worth all the time too.

--
Pisces Woman

She likes to be in a dream world than to be in reality. She is weak and sensitive when it's come to "Love". She can cry if her best friend is breaking up, and she can be over excited when her friend gets a new boy friend who is a good looking and rich even it is nothing concerned her at all. You might be surprise to see that she is shy just because she is in love. More or less it will be in Pisces woman. She loves small animal and gifted in training animals.

She has sixth senses and she can guess what will happen next, it's her nature. Even she has a good sixth senses, she can not pick or foreseen her own choice of lover. She can not tell if she meet a sincere guy or a one night stand guy.

She likes to buy and pick her own cloths. She likes to dress cute and be cute. Pisces woman tend to be a good looking woman and she has a nice skin. Her hands and feet are small and soft. Pisces woman loves to shop for shoes as if she collects them. She is a hot lady that everyone wants her. Whether she has a man in her life or not , she will never try to over powered any man. It's not even in her thought.

She thinks man can handle things better, and she will make her man feel that way. She is an easy going person, so being with her is easy. She is a confident woman and likes to make people who stay with her happy. She knows how to please and how to comfort a man. If something is wrong, she will try to make other people belief that it's must be because of someone else, not because of her love one. She will not push her man to be ambition but to make him feel like he should be happy with the way he is now. She is happy with you for what you are now.

A Pisces woman , if she has a bad childhood, she will always remember it and it will make her a very unhappy person. She will pity herself and feel sorry for herself. She tends to hurt herself with out knowing it and so vulnerable to drugs (real drugs or just sleeping pills). She has many choices and you can never tell which path she going to take. If you love her , then hold her tight because she never knows why she did what she did or what she will do next.

A complex character. You may think she is a shy innocent type and can not hurt anyone, then you are wrong. You might think she is a fragile person who needs protection, wrong again. She has been through a lot, a tough cookie. She is a dreamer and love the word "Love", so she is the type who will buy gift for anyone for any occasion, especially if it is a gift for wedding or an anniversary even for someone who she does not know so well.

Be very careful if fall in love with Pisces woman. She can be a total different person before and after. She can be an angle before and later a witch, but everyone is not perfect, right? She will be soft and gentle most of the time, so not to worry. She is emotional and extremely sensitive when she frequently got hurt. She is the type who can cry her heart out.

She can have a secret fear inside, when she says she does not need anyone. She badly needs someone to protect her, but sometimes she can hide that feeling by being stubborn. She likes to hide her shyness and her weakness from her enemy. She does not like to follow any fixed rules. She can be a good housewife if you know how to handle her.

Many men will ask to marry her because she is a 100% woman. If she wants to be sweet, she is a real angles.

Zodiac Series - Aquarius

Aquarius Man

Hot-hearted man who likes to do thing his way. He can suddenly decide to do something without thinking of it's outcome. He is the type of guy with an inside energizer, so if you fall in love with this type of guy be "patient", even if you have to follow him a bit. His creative mind could create fantastic idea any time. If you do not understand or can not follow him, you won't be with him for long.

A man in this Zodiac will less likely to have a pale skin, and if he has a scar, it would be on his face or on his head. He moves very fast and very energetic, and he has a very self confident in himself. He is not the type to sit down and feel sorry or regret anything for long, especially with "Love". He loves justice. He dares to show his opinion or even argue about certain subject even he knows it might bring him problems. A straight forward type of guy.

He hardly lies except if he think it is necessary and he is not a good liar anyway. He will not lie to you about serious matter, but if he lie he will lie only a small little thing. He is gifted with the ability to be a very social person. He could talk even about subject that he has no knowledge of. He interests only at the present time and look at the world positively. Many times he feels hurt because of reality, but he will not run away and he will overcome that difficulty.

Even he is a high and self confident type and center his own thought as a main focus, but at the same time he is a kind, cute and polite guy. He certainly is not a mean person. He likes to help people who are in troubles even he is not asked to. He is the type who feels sorry if you remember bad things he said to you that he had already forgotten,but you did not. Belief him that he is very sorry and give him another chance.

Once he decides to do something, he will put all his mind and energy in it either in his "Work", or "Love". He is the type who gamble anything in the casino, so do not even take him there. He does not like pessimistic, low energy, and depress person, especially no brain. Strangely he like to overpowered this type of people to assure that he is more superior.

He like to be the first person to do something. You can see sparkling in his eyes, once he meet a new target or new lover. Once he is in love, he will act as if he never has love like this before. This minute he could be real sugar sweet, and later he could also be an icy cold, but do not blame him for that will only chase him away. He could fall in love again with another girl and act again like he never has this kind of love before.He could really love someone, but not a heart broken type for he thinks love is "excitement" and "Love goes on".

If you date this kind of guy, do not or avoid showing your face to him with face pack, face mask, always be presentable, nice and cute. If he is quiet not because he is shy, but he is only quietly thinking. If you have a chance to ask his X-girlfriend, she will tell you that he is not a shy or quiet type. If he is really and truly in love with you, he will never lie to you at all. How do you know if he loves you, bet on your faith! Love him and treat him steadily and do not try to find anything to argue with him, he will be with you for sure.

If you are his lover or girlfriend and need to tell him something, go and say it out loud and straight forward because he hate long boring story. He hate to play games, chasing for love or being chased, so let him call you first. He likes a confident woman who also a good follower. If he gets mad at you, let him be for only a short time he will be normal again. You have to like and be able to get along with his friends, but he does not have to do so with all your friends.

Don't ever think you could make him jealous by flirting with other man, he will just leave instead of making a scene because he is a confident man and has to be the first in everything.

--
Aquarius Woman

If you are in love with a woman in this zodiac be prepared to be very happy or be very sorry. She is a very busy person with her own matters similar to a guy in this zodiac. She is able to live by herself without any guy in her life, a very strong person indeed.

Not because she does not have a dream guy, but if she can not find such person, so what. Because she thinks she could do anything that a man can do. She is a leader , a real confident type.

She likes to do things by herself, such as serving herself, opening the door herself. Because she thinks waiting for a helping hand is a waste of time, and she is not patient enough to wait around for that. If she starts to ask you out, do not think she starts to flirt with you, but because she thinks it is a waste of time to wait for you to be the one who asked.

She likes a COOL guy who sometime act like he is ignoring her, so he has a chance to show him his own confident. She like to guess her man's reaction, but at the same time she likes to has many men wanting her. She is a daring type who could just do thing differently from other people in her same society. She dare to fight for what she thinks belonged to her.

Even she acts confident she mostly feel lonely and alone. If she breaks up with someone , she won't show any emotion even deep down inside pain and agony. Not for long she will come back to be the cheery and merry person again, because she looks at the world positively and has "Faith" in the word "Love".

She has more men friends than women friends, so do not be a jealous type if you date her. She could be slightly jealous, but she hates jealous guy. She loves "Freedom" so before and after marriage , her freedom has to be the same. She likes you to trust her, even if she does not trust you anyhow.

She likes to be the one who is "Right", so if you argue with her , let her win if it is not a big deal for you in that subject. She is a straight forward type, so if she does not love you anymore, she will just tell you straight to your face. Her love and relationship are always real, so if she say "It's over" be prepare to leave, she is not testing you.

She is not a vulnerable type, so do not have to worry about her, she will survive by herself. If she is with you when you get sick, she will certainly take care and look after you, even look after you mean "small loan". Do not have secret with her, she hates it and really can piss her badly. When she is sad , be understanding. When she is happy, be happy with her, she likes that.

You will not get bore with this type of girl. Someone who is close to her will know that deep down beneath that confident and cold hearted person, she is just as fragile as any woman. She is a fun and talkative person and she likes to tease you. Do not let she talk alone, if you do she will leave.

She has many type of jobs because she beliefs what a man can do, I can do. If you want her to work for you, forget it. When she is in love, she will just leave her job in the day time just to come to see you, but not for long she will go back to work seriously again. Prepare to live and love with a "Working Woman" then you will be OK.

If she mad, find a shelter for the "Hurricane" is here! Her bad temper will last very shortly though. She is not a revenge type and will not think of "pay Back" time. Most people might think of her as "One of a guy", but in fact she is a 100% woman. She is easily hurt, so be nice with her. If she really loves you, then you are lucky because she is an honest, truthful and will never bored you. Understand that sometimes she will be over confident and sometimes like to have power or act bossy.